"I was in denial": Meg Lanning reveals struggles leading to her early retirement

Sydney [Australia], April 18 : Former Australia skipper Meg Lanning revealed some of the challenges she faced during her international career, which led to her surprise retirement last year.
The Australia great - who won a whopping five ICC Women's T20 World Cup titles and two ICC Women's Cricket World Cup trophies, six of those as captain- Lanning explained that her sudden retirement from international cricket last year at the age of 31 was caused by an excessive obsession with workout and a lack of nourishment.
Lanning stated that she used exercise as an outlet to cope with her problems, but she admitted that she was not feeding her body enough to compensate for the increased amount of workout she would do.
"I was over-exercising and under-fuelling. I got to the point where I was doing about 85-90km a week. I was in denial. It became a bit of 'I am going to show you' sort of thing. It sort of just spiralled. I was not in a place to be able to go on tour and play cricket and give the commitment levels required for that (2023) Ashes series mentally and physically," Lanning said as quoted by ICC.
"I am naturally fine spending time with myself but there were very few people who I would want to engage with. I would get really snappy - real moody - if anyone asked anything. I got down to 57kg from 64kg. It wasn't ridiculous (but it was) significant. The ratios were out of whack. I did not realise (it affected) my ability to concentrate. I didn't really want to see other people. I disengaged a lot from friends and family," said the former Australia captain.
"It (running) became a bit of an obsession. I could escape mentally. I would throw the headphones in but would not take my phone with me. I would have my Apple watch with me and listen to music. Nobody could contact me," she added.
Lanning believes her teammates would have noticed a difference in her demeanour based not only on her appearance but also on how she interacted with her peers.
"I think they knew something was up. I couldn't see anything in my appearance but (others) could see it. And everything that comes with it. You become grumpy. Not talking to many people. Not being able to concentrate. Not sleeping. Your head just goes round and round and it's not a nice place to be," Lanning admitted.
"I dreaded night-time because I knew I would go to bed and not be able to sleep. That would make me so mad. I would just get more angry with myself. If you can't sleep you can't do anything. I've learnt that regardless of who you are there is always something happening. I guess I have realised how much telling to people and letting them know can actually help even if they don't have an answer," she added.