'Not a loss, but a gain of things he taught us': Irrfan Khan's family on his demise

May 01, 2020

New Delhi [India], May 1 : "How can I write this as a family statement when the whole world is taking it as a personal loss? How can I begin to feel alone when millions are grieving with us at the moment?" Irrfan Khan's wife said in a statement on Friday. The actor passed away on Wednesday at the age of 53, triggering an outpouring of condolences.
His passing left fans and cinema lovers aghast with many posting emotional tributes on social media. His wife Sutapa, in her statement, said the demise is more of a gain than a loss.
"I want to assure everyone that this is not a loss, it is a gain. It's a gain of the things he taught us, and now we shall finally begin to truly implement it and evolve. Yet I want to try to fill in the things that people don't already know," she said.
"It's unbelievable for us but I would put it in Irrfan's words, "it's magical" whether he is there or not there, and that's what he loved, he never loved one-dimensional reality," the statement added.
Talking about the only grudge she holds against her husband, who lost the battle to a rare cancer, she said - "he has spoiled me for life."
"His strive for perfection doesn't let me settle for ordinary in anything. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet."
As she also recalled how their life was a 'master class in acting,' Sutapa said: "So when the dramatic entry of the "uninvited guests" happened, I had by then learnt, to see harmony in the cacophony."
"The doctor's reports were like scripts which I wanted to perfect, so I never miss any detail that he sought for in his performance," the statement read.
Sutapa also mentioned about those people who stood by the couple throughout their journey.
"Our oncologist Dr. Nitesh Rohtogi (Max hospital Saket) who held our hand in the beginning, Dr. Dan Krell (UK), Dr. Shidravi (UK), my heartbeat and my lantern in the dark Dr. Sevanti Limaye (Kokilaben hospital)," she said.
"It's difficult to explain what a wondrous, beautiful, overwhelming, painful, and exciting this journey has been. I find this 2 and 1/2 years to have been an interlude, which had its own beginning, middle, and culmination with Irrfan helming the role of the orchestra conductor, separate from the 35 years of our companionship, ours was not a marriage, it was a union."
"I see my little family, in a boat, with both my sons Babil and Ayaan, paddling it forward, with Irrfan guiding them "wahan nahi, yahan se modo" but since life is not cinema and there are no retakes, I sincerely wish my children sail this boat safely with their father's guidance in mind and rockabye through the storm," the statement read.
Irrfan's two sons, Babil and Ayaan, too shared important lessons taught by their father.
"Learn to surrender to the dance of uncertainty and trust your faith in the universe," said his elder son Babil Khan.
Meanwhile, the younger one, Ayaan Khan, said: "Learn to control your mind and to not let it control you."
"Tears will flow as we will plant a raat ki rani tree, his favourite, to the place where you have put him to rest after a victorious journey.It takes time but it will bloom and the fragrance will spread and touch all the souls whom I won't call them fans but family for years to come....," the family statement concluded.
Irrfan Khan's last rites were performed on Wednesday at Versova cemetery.